With the start of the Sun/Mercury in Libra conjunction yesterday, our Facebook blog was about communication. Today this same energy continues – with some additional intensity in our relationships, as the conjunction to Pluto becomes exact. This may bring with it a temptation to just bail out of intimate relationships that feel challenging. However, before doing so, it may be worth taking a good look at whether making changes to the core structure of the relationship, may be what is required, rather than walking away. (Except in situations of Domestic Violence of course, where leaving immediately is vital!)
Thanks in large part to Hollywood movies, most of us grow up with role models of intimate relationships based on a Disney type romance, where everything is rosy all the time. In this Neptunian idealization, conflict is repressed, suppressed and avoided at all costs, as it is not viewed as part of real ‘love’. Hence, individuality is not encouraged, as this would lead to assertive self-expression and the setting of boundaries, which would jar with the Neptunian fantasy.
Movies have also contributed to a culture where the focus on ‘my needs now,’ is of primary importance and when they aren’t immediately met, we simply walk away and find the next person who we hope will meet our perceived ‘needs’. The responsibility for each individual meeting their own needs, taking responsibility for and working through their emotional baggage, is rarely portrayed. Accountability is not a popular word for Neptune, but it is for Pluto, particularly when the Sun is transiting it – as is happening today!
So this is an ideal day to take stock of ourselves and our behavior to date in our intimate relationships, in an honest and compassionate way. Some questions that may help include:
1. What are my unrealistic fantasies about relationships?
2. How have these sabotaged past relationships?
3. What have I not taken responsibility for in relationships?
4. Is this a pattern or a once off?
5. What patterns/structures am I ready to change in my relationships? – not just intimate relationships.
6. What work do I need to do on myself to apply these changes? MG